The circus

Is femininity an advantage or a target on my back. This question was sparked by the debates with friends from the male side on which gender has been downplayed and oppressed overtime. Conversations that ended with them claiming that being a female puts us at an advantage above them in every setting. And being the level headed human being that I am( questionable) I heard their point of views but here is mine. Here is what I have to say.

As far as I can remember, independence has always been ingrained in me. Being enough is a thought I was reminded everyday. Anywhere I looked, I found evidence of my mother's strength and resilience. Disclaimer, I had no chance or space to think otherwise. My mother did it all. The very definition of a black superwoman.

And as I grew up, I learnt about more courageous women such as Wangari Mathai, Mitchelle Obama and the likes who went against the odds to make the world a better place and pave way for the world we have today. The power and strength of a woman was all I knew up until society proved me wrong.

And this conversations, only cemented what I had seen and heard. So I again I ask, is femininity an advantage or a target on my back? My answer is simple, it is a target on my back and I will cite several instances.

In any office setting where the issue of superiors and surbodinates is like a religion, femininity has become a burgaining chip in whether or not one gets an opportunity same as our male counterparts. Sexual favors in exchange for opportunities may sound like a thing of the past but fact is, society just normalized it. I mean why not just do it. It costs you nothing at all especially with your career on the line. Is what society is telling women today. That it is okay to put your credibility on the line and take the easy way out as they put it.

So again I ask, is femininity an advantage or target on my back. I speak for most women if not all when I say, that sexual favors are not the easy way out. There is nothing easy about being assaulted and forever bearing the scars for it. There is absolutely nothing easy about being viewed as prey in world full of predators.

Gender violence with a dash of murder has not been a phenomenon in today's world. Some just went out with their their partners while some just trusted the wrong person. But here is the thing, who is the wrong person or male in this case. Is it our fathers and brothers at home? Is it the person sitting next to you during a lecture? Is it your colleague at work? Is it that icon that you look up to? Is it that slimy guy around the corner that keeps eyeing your behind. Truth is,  we would never know, because their intentions lie hidden deep inside their dark hearts for any of us to decipher. So again I ask, is femininity an advantage or a target on my back?

I say femininity is power, strength and empowerment and it is high time we go back to the drawing board and recognize that. A woman is not and never will be a possession or object to fawn over and gawk at. We deserve equal opportunities as everyone else. We will take what we deserve because we matter.